Care Bear to the Rescue

I had a sweet experience with an anxious little kindergarten boy this morning. When he came for his first staggered half day last week, he was distraught about leaving his mom. Although she did the right thing and turned him over to us as quickly as possible, he sobbed and begged for her for hours. This child didn't have to come back to school for another week, as kindergartners have staggered attendance for the first two weeks of school. This means that they come in groups of 4 or 5 children in order to learn the routines of school in a more relaxed setting. Unfortunately this little boy worried about coming back for most of the past week. Yesterday, his mom called and made a plan with the principal to help make today as positive as possible. She brought him to school about 30 minutes early, I met her at the entrance, and even though he clung to her for dear life, begging her not to go, she bravely gave him a kiss and moved on. As we walked down the hall toward the unhappy child's classroom, I carried a teddy bear. The boy and I went into the teacher's office, which is just off her classroom, and closed the door in order to have some privacy. Sitting on the floor together, I waited out the sobs, snuggling my bear, whom I named Care Bear. I told the sweet boy about how Care Bear used to be sad about kindergarten, too, because he wasn't used to it yet. He didn't know anybody in his class and was afraid the teacher might not be nice and that the work might be too hard and that he wouldn't have any friends. However, as Care Bear forced himself to be brave and made himself go to school one day and the next day and the next, he got used to it and started to be happy. I explained that now I use Care Bear to help other children who aren't used to school yet. At this point, the child had calmed down enough to listen and talk. Innocently, he looked up at me and asked, "Are you his mom?" "No," I said, "I'm not his mom, I'm just his friend. He helps me help children like you who are nervous about kindergarten." The little boy told me about the members of his family and how he felt about them, including his bossy big sister, and he explained the history of the pets he'd had, taking pains to educate me on the ins and outs of caring for hermit crabs. Then I helped him to see that he had 2 sides to himself: both a scared little boy and a big brave boy. He could choose which to be. After a while, he said he was ready to go join his class. Since he was still catching his breath in an effort not to cry, I asked him to wait until he could take 3 slow deep belly breaths. Then I took him in to talk with his teacher, who welcomed him warmly. Care Bear stayed around in case he was needed, and he did come in handy from time to time during the morning. Just before lunch time, which was the end of the kindergarten day today, I went and got my brave little friend. As promised, I took him to see a couple of staff members he wanted to visit, and they rejoiced with him over his efforts and more successful day. We moved on to my room, where we looked at all the toys I have and decided to play "Don't Wake Daddy" together. Then I took the little boy to lunch with his class, and afterwards he was able to be happily reunited with his mom. Helping anxious children adjust to school is never easy. Each case is different, and I walk on eggshells every single time, knowing I don't have a magic wand. Next Tuesday, this little man will have to come back full time. I anticipate tears and fears, but hopefully today's success has started a foundation of security for this child as he begins his educational experience.