Speak for YourSELF!

Each morning, I visit a couple of teachers' classrooms to check on how their students behaved the previous day. Each class has two specific goals, such as to use kind words and to follow first request. After receiving a 1-10 score for each goal from the teacher, I choose a child to color in vertical bar graphs on a rainbow chart. For example, if the score is 7, the child colors 7 boxes on the graph. Well today I asked a handsome dark-haired boy to color in two fantastic scores...a 10 and a 10. As he pondered which crayons to use, a fair-skinned girl at his table predicted that he'd choose pink. "Yeah, he colors everything pink," said a tawny-haired neighbor. Curious, I asked the boy who was about to color, "So do you like the color pink?" Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, he said, "Yeah, for PIGS." I snorted with laughter!

Sweet as Pie

Hearing an interesting conversation during the early morning rush to classes one day last week, I looked behind me and saw three smiling first grade boys good-naturedly shoving each other around. "I call the fastest!" said a dark-eyed boy. "I call the smartest!" said a blond. Before the third could get in a word, I laughingly said, "Who calls the SWEETEST?" All together, the three musketeers groaned, "Ewwww!" They shook their heads, rolled their eyes at me, and sauntered on into class. Hee hee...there's always someone around to tease!

Fair Trade??

As I trotted down the hall today with my arms full of teaching materials, I heard a squeaky voice shout from afar, "Miss Mimi! Miss Mimi, I wanna show you my t-shirt!" Turning around, I watched a freckle-faced kindergartner with a new haircut hustle my way. Putting his hands on his hips and thrusting out his tummy to better show off his shirt, he stood still for me to read the following: "Let's Trade. You give me $100 (arrow pointing to a hundred dollar bill) and I give you PEACE AND QUIET! " I giggled, especially since this little boy is exuberant but quite well behaved, and he turned around and skipped on down to the library. Primary school hallways can be such fun!

Yeah, RIGHT...!

Here's a cute story that occurred in a kindergarten class yesterday. I've been teaching about calming down strong feelings and doing the right thing. Yesterday, I focused on talking to someone you trust about your worries, fears, and problems. To make the point that people can't read our minds and may not know what's bothering us unless we tell them, we played a game. I told a secret to an adorable red-haired boy, and the class tried to either guess what I'd told him or read our minds. As children raised their hands, my accomplice called on them. Guesses varied and included: "You're giving us a party!" "You're getting a puppy." "Always brush your teeth." "Care about each others' feelings." "Uhh....I forgot!" Anyway, nobody guessed correctly and nobody read our minds, so I asked my helper to tell the class the secret I'd told him. In a shy voice and with a sly grin, he said, "She said her husband has big muscles." As the teachers laughed and many children sighed and shook their heads, one petite girl blurted out, "I was gonna SAY that!"' Another yelled, "Yeah, me TOO!" The teachers and I raised our eyebrows, shook our heads with a giggle, and said, "Ahhhh...SURE you were!"

Take Them Back!

Today I read an adorable story to a couple of kindergarten classes. It's called Darcy and Gran Don't Like Babies, and the point I make is that it helps to talk to someone you trust when you have a problem. Darcy, the main character, is disgusted with her new baby brother, and she doesn't hesitate to announce this fact to everyone she sees. "I don't like the new baby," she attests to her mom, her dad, a neighbor, and the doctor. Each of these characters tries to convince her that she really does like the baby, and this annoys Darcy. She wants someone to listen and UNDERSTAND! Finally she finds an ally when she talks to her gran. Gran says matter-of-factly, "Neither do I. Never did like babies." Darcy and Gran go on to list the things they dislike: Babies can be smelly, they cry a lot, and they get all the attention. Then the two allies go on an adventure to the park, where babies aren't in their way on the jungle gym, swing, see-saw, or slide. Of course Darcy's mood mellows at the end of the story, in large part because she's been listened to and supported in her feelings about this new addition to the family. Well the kindergartners laughed all throughout the book, as it really was funny. At one point a little girl with long blond hair raised her hand and said, "I know just what she means. My baby has bad smells, too." A minute later she commented, "Yea, my baby gets all the attention, too," and she nodded her head with empathy for Darcy. Looking around the classroom, I noticed lots of bobbing heads and expressions ranging from wistful to grossed out. Judging from the way the children related to this story, it appears that our kindergarten families have had a bumper crop of babies born lately!

Shades of Blue

There's a sweet fair-skinned kindergarten boy at our school, one I check on each morning. His goal is to use self-control when he's angry. Each day, his teacher gives him a 1-10 score based on how well he controlled his emotions the previous day, and the child colors in the corresponding number of boxes on a vertical bar graph. For instance, if he did really well and earned a score of 8, he'd color 8 boxes stacked on top of each other. We call this a rainbow chart because each day's stripe is usually a different color, and the page ends up looking pretty and bright like a rainbow. Well one day last week, I mentioned to the little boy that his chart had all blue stripes, differing SHADES of blue, but all blue nonetheless. It was really kind of peaceful looking! I pointed out that my favorite was the blue-green stripe because it reminded me of the Caribbean Sea. At the time I made this comment, my friend was in the process of coloring that day's stripe. He said, "I think I like THIS blue the best." Reading the label, we discovered that he had chosen plain old blue, which was the color of faded denim. Although the boy had already begun coloring his chart, he stopped, put his crayon down, and held up the ziplock bag of crayons. Running his hands through the bag, he picked up each blue he found to see if it appeared to be blue-green. There were several shades of blue in the bag...blue violet, cerulean, and sky blue, to name a few. Poring through the bag's contents, the child was intent on finding that elusive blue-green crayon. Several times, because he couldn't read some of the labels, he made a mark on the back of the chart to check out the hue. Although I was in a hurry and had lots of children to see in a short amount of time, I sensed that it was important for me to be patient and wait. Finally, the child and I discovered that my elusive blue-green crayon actually looked black until it was used, and then the vibrant color became evident. With a relieved grin, my kindergarten friend proceeded to color over the blue he'd started with and to make that day's stripe my favorite blue-green. Since this little boy wanted to honor me by choosing the color I liked best, I know that the extra time I spent with him that morning was worthwhile, and my heart was warmed by his affection.

Move It, Move It

My kindergarten students have been learning about calming down strong feelings and doing the right thing. As part of this unit, I've taught ways to calm down that we can ALWAYS use, such as belly breaths, and strategies that we can SOMETIMES use. The latter include talking to someone about your feelings, resting, exercising, and playing to cheer yourself up. To help children memorize these ideas, we often stand up, bounce, and chant, "Talk, rest, exercise, play!" until we're good and tired. One of the most popular songs I play for kids to dance to is "I Like to Move It, Move It" from one of the Madagascar movies, and I use this song because it ties in with the strategy of EXERCISE. The children are familiar with it, and many of them beg for it when they see me coming! Well the other day, I played this song in a class for the very first time. Before turning it on, I gave my usual spiel about how this song makes children go wild sometimes. They LOSE their self-control and DON'T handle their strong feelings of silliness in the right way, so we have to follow some rules while dancing. We have to find a spot and stay there instead of running around the room, we have to keep our hands to ourselves, we have to keep our feet and only our feet on the floor (as opposed to break dancing, doing push-ups and cartwheels, etc.), and we can sing but can't talk and chit-chat. (Did I mention that sometimes kids go BANANAS during this song??!) We stood up, I turned on the music, and high-speed boogying ensued. Girls were slinging their hair, children were doing the robot, disco dancing, jumping and waving their arms in the air, doing the swim, and amusing the fire out of their teacher and me. One freckle-faced smiling girl appeared to have rubber bands in her feet as she turned them this way and that at supersonic speed. Yes, I did have to turn off the music for a momentary reminder, but we got to finish the song afterward. When it was over, a slow, peaceful melody came on my iPod. "Now here comes a RESTING song, " I said, since rest was one of our calming down ideas. Immediately, children started flopping down on the floor for a rest, as they'd indeed worked up a sweat while dancing. The little girl with the fast feet said exhaustedly, "Miss Mimi, I NEED a rest," and lay down in a ball. "I'm sure you DO," I laughed. "Your FEET had the BEAT!" She rolled her eyes at me good-naturedly and sank back down on her imaginary bed. Oh, the fun I have teaching kindergarten classes!

Treasures

For a couple of months, we've been learning about ideas for dealing with bothering and bullying.  Since a new strategy is introduced in each lesson, I've taught the children to pretend that they have a treasure chest in their minds, one that's overflowing with gold coins and jewels.  Each of the life skills I teach them is a treasure in the chest, and these treasures will be with them and useful throughout their lives.  After all, grown-ups sometimes have trouble getting along with people, too!  Throughout their years in guidance class, students have learned peacemaking ideas, ways to calm down strong feelings, problem-solving and decision-making formats, as well as skills for learning.  These are life-long treasures!  Well, to get back to the lessons on dealing with bothering and bullying, we've learned the strategies of ignoring, walking away, saying stop, saying it again, and standing up for others who are being teased.  This week, we're discussing asking for help.

When I checked my mailbox at school this afternoon, I found an envelope addressed to me in a child's handwriting.  Inside was a letter from a wise and kind-hearted first grade girl.  She described with first grade spelling how she'd encountered a boy in the hallway who stared at her and made her feel uncomfortable.  The little girl said, "I used two of my treasures, but they didn't work. I got to number three and wanted to say please stop but didn't know how.  Can you give me some advice?"  I'll check in with this child tomorrow, but my heart was so warmed when I read that she'd used some of her treasures!  I hope others are taking in these life skills and trying them out in the real world, too, and of course I'll be glad to help them along their way as they practice being responsible, caring, peacemaking citizens!

United Nations

As I bopped down the hall first thing yesterday morning, hordes of kids were making their way to class. It was picture day, so I was privy to a parade of spiffily decked-out children. A dark-eyed kindergartner flashed open her coat to show me her outfit and proclaimed, "Look Miss Mimi, I'm beautiful!" Indeed she was, all scrubbed and shiny-faced. She wore a dark-colored skirt, a princess sweatshirt adorned with pink butterflies, gray and pink argyle leggings, and boots. Her pony-tail was topped off with a frilly bow. While I oohed and aahed, a classmate came up, opened her own coat, and said, "Look! I'm wearing a church dress!" This one sported a precious purple knit dress with a belt and metallic boots. At this point, we were joined by a third friend who unzipped her coat to say, "And look at what I'm wearing!" This one modeled a gray and purple plaid pleated skirt, cardigan, and boots, and she proudly thrust her tummy out to show just how pretty she felt! Giggling and admiring each other's picture-day outfits, each threw an arm around another's shoulder and they sashayed into class together. Witnessing this spectacle, I felt gratified that these little cherubs had parents who took the time to help them get gussied-up in their very best school clothes for kindergarten pictures. I was also impressed with the fact that the children so obviously felt confident about themselves. It was only later, as I remembered this snippet of my day, that I realized something even more important. Although each of these three girls was from a different ethnicity, they were the best of pals, treating each other with admiration and respect. We adults certainly have a lot to learn from the little ones in our care!

Family Confusion

Today I met with a fresh-faced first grader who has a warm personality and big blue eyes. As she told me about her family, she mentioned a relative who sounded important to her. Breaking into a smile, she said, "I have the cutest little cousin! He gets in trouble in pre-school because he falls out of his chair and can't sit still. He loves pickles and going to my grandma's farm." "I can tell you love him a lot," I said. "What's your cousin's name?" Shrugging her shoulders, the little girl said, "I don't know his name, so I just call him Nephew." Hmmmm.....what an unusual name for her favorite little COUSIN!

Turnabout is Fair Play!

Although I don't use names when I write about school happenings, I need to make up some pseudonyms for this particular story. Otherwise it won't make a lick of sense! I walked in to teach a second grade class this afternoon just as the children were finishing up indoor recess. As I unpacked my teaching supplies, a pretty freckle-faced girl named Ella said, "Miss Mimi, we were playing house at recess, and I was married to Billy." She followed this comment with a playfully disgusted look. "Oh, I take it you're not a fan of marriage," I replied. Grinning, she said, "Not when I'm married to Billy." Continuing this interesting conversation, I asked, "So when you played house, your name was Mrs. Conley," which was Billy's last name. Shaking her head vehemently, the child said, "NO, HE'S Mr. KENNEDY," which was HER last name. Laughing, I said, "Oh, so your husband's taking YOUR name. Does Billy know about this?" "Not yet," she admitted. Playing along, I went to Billy's desk and said, "Hey, I understand that your new name is Mr. Kennedy since you married Ella." Standing up forcefully, he raised his eyebrows to the roof, pointed his index finger at Ella, and strode intently in her direction. Fortunately, by this time another class had joined us, most of the students were settling down for guidance class, and I was spared from any further shenanigans! I must say I would have enjoyed continuing the drama for a bit, as all the players were good-natured children having a good time at indoor recess!

Can You Say Conniving??

Every morning, I've been encouraging a tawny-haired first grade girl as she works at becoming more respectful to her peers. Specifically, her goal is to use kind words, as opposed to "snarky" ones, and according to her teacher's daily reports, she's improving rapidly! Because the child's efforts have been paying off, the teacher pulled her aside to let her know how much she admired and appreciated these newly pleasant words and behaviors. As part of this conversation, the teacher mentioned that it wouldn't be long until the fair-skinned little girl could "graduate" from having me come do daily check-ins. Directly after this private conversation, the child walked back to her desk and made a rude comment to her neighbor. "I can draw better than that," she said. Immediately, the little girl tucked her chin, cocked her head to the side, looked up at her teacher with raised eyebrows, and said, "NOW do I still get to see Miss Mimi?" Whoa...that's what I call a conniving female! I do have an update, though. This incident happened about a week and a half ago, and all last week the child's behavior was very positive. Therefore, I'll taper the visits to every other day and then fade them out altogether. Apparently quitting cold turkey isn't wise with this one!

Bad Doggy!

Here's a funny story shared with me by a kindergarten teacher today. A mom of one of her students, who is a shy, sweet-faced little girl, sent the teacher a photo of the family's shaggy white dog. Wearing a woebegone expression and sitting forlornly in his wire crate, the pooch was surrounded by scraps of crunched up paper. The picture was sent to prove that the dog really did eat the child's homework. Adorable and true!

100th Day Planning

Last week, our primary school celebrated the 100th day of school. Many fun activities involving the number 100 were carried out in every classroom. These included making fruit loop necklaces of 100 pieces of cereal, counting 100 steps down the hallway, having snacks of 100 small edibles, and creating very cool pictures with an app that ages children's photos to show what they'll look like at the ripe old age of 100. Many students and staff members dressed up as elderly people, and their disguises were ultra-creative and clever! I saw lots of canes, granny glasses, gray wigs, hats, rolled-down knee-high panty hose, curlers, shawls, and even some purposely smeared lipstick. When I went downstairs to check on a second grade boy that morning, I cackled at his get-up. He had so much baby powder in his hair that it poofed out all over me every time he shook his head, which he took great delight in doing. Creases and wrinkles lined his face, he wore wire-framed glasses and a gray cardigan vest, and he carried a cane and hobbled into the hall. But the funniest part of my brief visit with this little boy was the explanation he offered. "Miss Mimi, do you know why I don't have on those strappy things?" At this point he pulled invisible suspenders out from his chest.. "Suspenders?" I asked. "No,why didn't you wear them today?" With a grin, the child said, "Because if I had them on, I wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom!" Now that's what I call planning ahead!

Wiggles and Jiggles

As I packed up to leave a second grade classroom recently, I head an interesting conversation. The teacher said, "Alright guys, please sit on you bottoms, not your feet. Our bottoms are soft so they'll be more comfortable to sit on." Joking with the teacher, I chimed in, "And some bottoms are softer than others," referring to my middle-aged self. At this point, a high-pitched child's voice piped up, "Yeah, some might be as soft as jello!" Shaking my head and raising one brow, I thought to myself, "Sadly, I think I may resemble that remark!"

Kindergarten Cops

After having kindergartners sit and listen for a while, I always let them stand up and wiggle a bit, which obviously helps them continue to focus and learn.  Today, we had a lesson on calming down strong feelings.  We reviewed some ideas we'd previously learned, practiced using them, and then stood up to bounce as we chanted the main teaching points.  "Breathe, count, click, and boss!"  we said over and over, jumping in rhythm while facing front, then side, then back, then other side, then front, side, back, other side, and front again.  Next, we "panted like a bird dog" to catch our breath before sitting back down for a story.  Well this particular kindergarten class has a new little boy, one who has only had my class one time before today.  Furrowing his brow as we jumped around and around shouting out words, this freckle-faced child walked a few steps over to the active board, pushed a pretend button, and pulled an imaginary lever.  Then he made an X shape with his forearms and used his voice to make a repetitive alarm sound, "Aagh, aagh, aagh, aagh!"  Knowing what he probably meant, I stifled a laugh and looked at him quizzically.  "When things get too wild, " he said, "I have to push a button."  Playing along, I said, "Oh, so you pressed the cuckoo button to get us under control, huh?"  At this point, the other children caught on, crossed their arms in the X shape, and "bonged" me..."Aagh, aagh, aagh,aagh!"  Uh-oh...I better watch my p's and q's with this group!

Healthy Pride

Every morning, I make my rounds, checking on children all around the school and encouraging them to do their best. These students all have a goal to work on, which can focus on work effort, behavior, anxiety level, or anything appropriate for the particular child. The teacher gives the child a 1-10 score on how behavioral goals were met on the previous day, and the student colors in the corresponding number of squares on a vertical bar graph. For example, if a child earns a 7 on work effort, he'll color 7 squares. Obviously, most children start their charts at a low number, or there would have been no need for them to be referred to me. One of the children I check in with is a handsome dark-haired boy. His goal is to use self-control when frustrated, and he started at a 2, often "huffing and puffing" when work became difficult. In recent weeks, this child has been receiving wonderful scores, including many 10's. One morning this week, he happily colored in his squares at a table out in the hallway, and after doing so I expected him to go back to class as usual. Instead, he turned toward the wall, which is lined in cork strips to allow student work to be displayed. Finding a couple of pushpins, the little boy tacked his chart up on the wall. Then he stood tall and turned to look at me with a big old smile and his head held high. He was rightfully proud of his efforts and how they were paying off, and his desire was for others to see how well he was doing. Of course he knew we couldn't leave his chart there, but it meant a lot to me to see this sweet child's delight in his newly improved self-discipline!

Stunderthorms

Since I work in a primary school, I have some puppets that help me teach important lessons on peacemaking, problem-solving, emotion management, dealing with bullying, and study skills. Two of the children's favorites are puppy and snail. Recently, I introduced anger control, with snail teaching puppy how to calm down and stop growling so he could think about a good way to solve his problem. One of the ideas taught was to click off your mad thoughts onto happy or calming ones. Snail said that he liked to picture himself sitting in the sunshine, sucking on an apple, because he loved apple juice and the feel of sunbeams on his shell. He asked Puppy for an example of what made him happy and was met by "red-faced" giggles. Following a bit of prodding and after extracting a promise from Snail not to laugh, Puppy informed Snail that he was in love. When the shock had passed, Snail asked for details and found that Puppy had fallen for a pretty pink poodle named Priscilla who had moved in across the street. She had soft pale pink curls and wore bows in her hair and smelled good and liked to laugh and play chase, and she was sweet and a good sport, and just beau---ti---ful! After the puppet show was over, the children wanted to meet Priscilla, of course. I brought her out, she had a mini-conversation with the students in her feminine Southern drawl, and they were utterly charmed. When it came time to give out the puppets for the kids to hold during story time, I stressed the importance of taking good care of Priscilla so that she'd stay pretty and clean for Puppy. I asked the class to make sure they spread sunshine, not thunderstorms, by doing the right thing with Priscilla. "Don't rub her on the floor, pull out her bows, pull on her curls, spit on her, or blow your nose on her." Now that last part was just to get a giggle, as surely to goodness nobody would do such a thing! Anyway, one little boy with an adorable cowlick stuck his index finger up in the air, flashed a grin, and blurted, "Now THAT would be spreading STUNDERTHORMS!" Everybody cracked up!

On Second Thought...

My kindergarten students are learning about how to calm down strong feelings. So far, we've learned four ideas that we can use anytime, anyplace: breathe, count, click, and boss. We've learned to take slow deep breaths, to count backwards, to click onto happy thoughts instead of stormy ones, and to boss ourselves around and tell ourselves what to do. As we practiced these in class yesterday, I asked the children to tell me some nice thoughts they might click onto when they need to calm down. Hands shot up, and I heard such pleasant thoughts as playing with puppies, snuggling with Mom, watching Sponge Bob, playing video games, and building sand castles on the beach. Then I called on a pretty chubby-cheeked girl, and this is what she smilingly said. "I can think about playing with my paint by number kit!" But then her smile dropped, and with a bedraggled look on her little face, she said, "But I can't do that until I'm 60 or 70."  "60 or 70?" I asked. "So you really want to paint, but your mom says you're not old enough?" "Yes," the child moped. "She says I'll make a mess so I have to wait until I'm 60 or 70." Poor pitiful child! That might not be such a cheery thought to click onto after all!

Girls Rule, Boys Drool??

In first and second grade guidance classes, we're having a long unit on dealing with bothering and bullying. So far, we've covered the ideas of ignoring and walking away, and this week we're focusing on asking the troublemaker to stop. Today, we had a puppet show about Tommy and Susie, who had a conflict in music class and solved it by using I-messages. Later, they met on the playground to practice endurance on the monkey bars. In the puppet show, Susie had been working on her arm strength and was counting how many times she could go back and forth on the bars without taking a break. Tommy thought he could easily beat her because, in his words, he was a big strong boy and she was a wimpy little girl. However, as you can probably guess, Susie beat him because she'd been practicing and he hadn't. The puppet show ended happily, of course, with good sportsmanship and the promise of a continuing friendly competition. After the puppet show was over, a cute blonde girl wearing stylish purple glasses raised her hand and said with a smirk, "That was pretty insulting, calling Susie a wimpy little girl." I laughed and agreed with her but pointed out that Tommy had had to "eat his words" when Susie beat him. At this point in the lesson, we had a short story about asking bothersome people to leave us alone and then we had an informal test about the lesson. At the end of the quiz, I asked the children to tell me what they'd learned. One boy said he'd learned to ignore and walk away when people were being mean. Another said he'd learned to tell people to stop when they gossiped or spread rumors. Noticing the little blonde girl's hand in the air, I asked what she'd learned. With a big old grin, she said, "I learned that girls are better on monkey bars than boys are!" I cracked up. Now this is one little girl who has confidence and gumption galore and doesn't intend to let her gender hold her back!